Messy Love Stories Part 2

Ever wondered if your dating disasters were uniquely catastrophic? Steph and Shellbz are here to assure you they've been there too—and probably worse. In this unfiltered episode, they dive headfirst into their romantic misadventures that'll make you cringe, laugh, and perhaps feel a little better about your own love life.

From Shellb's tale of being elaborately catfished at a hotel by someone who vanished into thin air, to Steph's confession about ghosting dates and making dramatic exits, these stories expose the messier side of modern dating. The hosts candidly admit to their "villain eras" between relationships—those periods when heartbreak transforms even the most loving people into emotional wrecking balls. "When I'm in a relationship, I'm fucking in it. But when my heart's broken, I stuff down all the emotions and I like to fuck around and find out," Shellbz confesses with characteristic frankness.

What makes this episode particularly powerful is the transformation arc. As they reflect on their current healthy relationships, both hosts acknowledge how far they've come from toxic patterns they once normalized. "I can't even imagine feeling that shitty now," Steph remarks, describing the stark contrast between her past relationship filled with constant demands for "proof" and her current partnership built on trust. Their journey reveals how sometimes the messiest paths lead to the most beautiful destinations—and how self-awareness and healing are prerequisites to finding authentic love.

Whether you're currently swiping through dating apps, healing from heartbreak, or enjoying a healthy relationship, this episode offers both solidarity and hope. Join us for this raw, honest conversation about the human experience of seeking connection, making mistakes, and finally finding relationships where "fights" revolve around who's buying beer rather than dealing with genuine conflict. Subscribe now to LezCommunicate for more unfiltered conversations that make you feel less alone in your own journey.

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Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Let's Communicate
• 0:34 Catfished in Mason City
• 5:42 Dating Disasters and Ghosts
• 10:17 The Walk of Shame
• 15:11 Nudity, Comfort, and Relationships
• 19:32 Finding True Love After Healing
• 21:32 Episode Wrap-up

Transcript

Steph: 0:07

Welcome to let's Communicate, the podcast where queerness meets chaos, honesty meets hilarity and nothing is off limits. I'm your host, steph, and I'm here with my bestie, shelby, and we are diving headfirst into relationships, hot takes and all the things we definitely shouldn't be saying out loud. So grab your Red Bull or your cocktail and let's communicate.

Shellbz: 0:34

I didn't go on very many dates but I was. I got broke up with I don't know. I was in like the middle of winter or some shit and we were going to go to I was going to get like a hotel above Laredo's in Mason city. It was sort of like this glow party thing. So I got a hotel or whatever, and I was talking to some other girl who I could never get pictures of. Like she had a Facebook, facebook quote, unquote, and I was like well, she's really good looking and we were texting back and forth, never had phone calls but like at that point I didn't want to talk on the phone anyway. So she was going to come stay with me at this hotel and she told me she was going to meet me there. We talked for weeks beforehand. So I get to this hotel and I was like, ok, I'm here. And she never responded to me again. I never heard from her again. She didn't show up, she didn't call me, she didn call me, she didn't text me.

Steph: 1:26

Her facebook disappeared like everything was just gone.

Shellbz: 1:27

Oh, you were being catfished. I think so, yeah, and I don't know. Part of me wonders if it was because I hate saying this, because I don't know if it's actually true or not, but it makes me wonder if because I didn't want that person to break up with me, like I wanted us to be together at that time. So I almost wonder if that person was behind the catfish, that fucking bit. I don't know for sure.

Shellbz: 1:49

I think it was like solidified now I think it was like to test out, you know, and like I don't even know if this girl's real her name was nicole brown.

Steph: 2:02

Oh, what the fuck yeah, yeah, it was like right around the same time too, so oh shit, yeah, yeah, I wonder.

Shellbz: 2:10

I never would have thought of that. Well, at that time I guess I wasn't even like aware of any of those things.

Steph: 2:14

Yeah, I bet you if we could go. What did the Facebook pictures look like?

Shellbz: 2:25

If I saw one I could.

Steph: 2:26

She claimed that she worked at target as a manager, but I couldn't obviously like I didn't know where or anything. Okay, but you paid for a hotel room.

Shellbz: 2:29

Yeah, I stayed there by myself, that's a dickhead move.

Steph: 2:31

Yeah well, at least you got a hotel yeah, I did.

Shellbz: 2:33

I went and got drunk and I was sad in my feelings. Then I went passed out in that comfy ass bed by myself. But that's fair. So yeah, I definitely got catfished. I was super shitty, like it even could have been like a number that you because you can get secondary numbers through different apps and shit oh, I have a secondary number on my phone and I would have never known, I would have had no idea, I had no clue.

Shellbz: 2:56

I should look and see. I'm curious if you still have the number. No, well, I probably do.

Steph: 3:00

Actually, let's find out yeah, we should totally google this. I feel like it's, I feel like it'll tell us right away it's a fake number.

Shellbz: 3:06

Okay, I don't have the number anymore, but let's go to facebook. I'm just curious. Yeah, there's no, it's non-existent now as far as like in recents or like friends or anything. It's been many, many years now. I'm sure that. I'm sure that fucking facebook got deleted so quick, because I'm pretty sure that's how she messaged me.

Shellbz: 3:25

The first time was through Facebook and there was a time when I was like 17 I tried dating a girl. This is also gonna sound so shallow, so shallow I already know, but I'm gonna say it anyway but I tried dating a girl. By her personality and how she looked, I tried, I tried so hard and I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it but I tried and she went to, like you know, the high school mma fights or whatever. We went to that with my sister and one of our friends and I barely looked at this girl the whole time. I barely looked at her, I barely talked to her, but I was like drooling over the girl that was fighting. She definitely could tell. And then, as we're driving back to my house to get her to her car, I was playing like really obnoxious breakup metal songs and she like I think she like ripped off a necklace or something and threw it at me and then he got in her car and sped away really fast so that sucked. That was really shitty of me.

Steph: 4:16

So I've been the shitty person in a lot of these, but nonetheless it was a great time yeah, I mean I I'm sure, like I'm sure, there's a collection, collection of shitty things that I've done in my life, of course, and I'm sure, if you ask any of my exes, I am definitely the problem Same.

Shellbz: 4:34

For sure.

Steph: 4:35

But I think probably and this didn't happen that long ago. This happened maybe like a year, year and a half ago now. So obviously I was at work and I work at different locations, right, and I was in a location that was probably about an hour away from here and I walked in, I go into the office and I said hi to like all the people there I don't really know them, just said hi. I'm like hey, friendly, yeah, hey, I'm Steph, like I'm just going to be working out of this office over here, no problem.

Steph: 5:08

This girl like makes dead ass eye contact with me. You know the worst kind of eye contact. I'm like, hey, you know, I was in a relationship at the time, nah, nah, not today. Satan, yeah, yeah, yeah, go back, go back to this office, right, I'm getting set up. And this fucking girl like comes in. She like comes into the office and she's standing in the doorway. I'm like can I help you? Like what do you need? And she's like you don't remember me, do you? Oh, my God, fuck. And that like feeling like that pit in your stomach drops like a little bit, because you're like I do not, I am so sorry, but no.

Steph: 5:47

Whatever happened, I don't know what you're talking about right now. I don't think it was me. I think you're on the wrong person. But no, like, truthfully, like in between relationships, I'm a dirty little whore, like I am, I will hook up with pretty much anything anywhere you know, like so yeah, apparently we had hooked up you just didn't remember you know, I don't know.

Steph: 6:13

It didn't have any lasting effect on me, so that was her problem, not mine. No, takes these back fees. So sorry, but no, I felt, I felt fucking terrible because she wasn't unattractive. I'm sure it was just like. I'm guessing I was drunk. I'm assuming that I was drunk and also assuming that I wasn't in any position to like oh anyways, that would have been like right after my divorce yeah, oh yeah, you're just trying to fill a void.

Shellbz: 6:39

At that point you didn't care about names or faces none of that mattered I get it.

Steph: 6:45

I mean, Tinder was my stomping ground. I used it for all the right reasons.

Shellbz: 6:49

Was the right reason to ghost people. I'm sorry, I was just kidding, I just. It obviously doesn't actually affect anything, but I can't not give you shit.

Steph: 7:00

I know God, whatever, but yeah, so I think that's probably's probably, that's the shittiest I felt in a long time, like I felt really bad about that. It obviously had some sort of like effect on her, because after that, when she had to remind me of how I knew her, how I should know her, she mentioned that I never called her back and had never answered any of her texts. I'm gonna be completely honest right now. I probably blocked your fucking number. You're probably sitting in my blacklist wham bam.

Shellbz: 7:34

Thank you, ma'am. Please don't ever call me again, yeah.

Steph: 7:37

I don't want to know you or see you ever again. This is a shame. Fuck right here. I definitely have had a couple of those too yeah, she wasn't unattractive either, like when I saw her I was like hey I could look at you yeah, if I wasn't in a relationship right now turns out I already did, we could try again.

Shellbz: 7:59

Maybe, if you just pretend like I don't know you, yeah give me your number again so I can unblock it.

Steph: 8:04

Call me maybe round two.

Shellbz: 8:05

Ding, ding shit that's really fucking funny, though. Have you ever okay? So this? We're obviously way far away from like this part, maybe not. Maybe this is part of this okay category. Have you ever hooked up with somebody and woke up and just fucking booked it the next morning?

Steph: 8:21

every fucking person, every time, okay, every time I woke my ex like I slammed awake at like five o'clock in the morning, I like looked around. I'm like where the fuck am? I like getting everything. I'm like I slept somewhere, like I slept somewhere I gotta fucking go fuck out of here now. I'm getting out right now Like no relationship ever again. I don't want to be here.

Shellbz: 8:50

Yeah, I was early twenties it was before my ex-wife, so it was probably like 10 years ago now but I woke up with no pants on, no underwear on. I couldn't find my boxers at all, but I found my fucking pants. I put them, fuckers, on so quick. I had no idea where I was. I didn't even know where my truck was. I was like I just saw who was next to me. I was like I gotta fucking go, I cannot be here. I never got my underwear back, which is which is fine, but like that's how little I wanted to do with this person. Afterwards I'd known this person and we were in the bathroom and I started making out with her and she was like oh, I've been waiting for this forever.

Steph: 9:31

I was like that's like oh, my God, I'm just thinking about like my pre, my pre like Kelly days, my pre like relationship. That's like yeah, like say that to me while we're out drinking, because that will be like that'll be it for me. Yeah, it's like that's like OK, I'm going to do something real fucking terrible right now. Like okay, I'm gonna do something real fucking terrible right now, and then you're never gonna want to talk to me ever again.

Shellbz: 9:53

That's basically what happened. And then she had said to other people that I basically sexually assaulted her and I was like what? We were both equally intoxicated and we both equally decided to have sex, yeah, so that's fucked up. But like that kind of shit can ruin people, you know. Oh yeah, I didn't let it get to me like too long, but that was terrible. I about fucking fell down the stairs on my way out. I see people were awake and they're like hey, you feeling okay after you fell outside. No, I need to leave now. Where are my keys? I don't want to be here anymore. Your truck's parked in the front. It was out front, actually, but that was terrible. That was so bad.

Steph: 10:34

Sometimes I think about like all the shit that I did when I was younger or you know, more recently, last year. Sometimes I'm thinking about that shit and I'm like you're like truly like of two separate personalities, like two completely different personas. Like you have this like loving, sweet, like, yes, want to be in a relationship, but you also have this other devil like sitting on your shoulder, like you're gonna fuck some shit up and it's gonna be messy fuck around and find out and fuck up a few more times until you're like, maybe let's not do that, and then continue to do so.

Shellbz: 11:13

Yeah, I'm the exact same way Like when I'm in a relationship, I'm fucking in it Like there's not a thing that can get in the way, but when my heart's broken, it stuffed down all of the emotions good, bad, otherwise and I also like to fuck around and find out. I don't ever want to be that person again though.

Steph: 11:30

No, I hate being that person and I hate the fact that every single time, I get my little heart broken. I have to turn into that person I know God damn it.

Shellbz: 11:38

I know.

Steph: 11:39

It feels like it's part of the healing process.

Shellbz: 11:41

I think it might be, which is fucked up, but I think that's true, Because I was like that up until I met my girlfriend. Then I was like well, for some reason I feel all patched up now.

Steph: 11:52

Thank you, Fire hose and really really all out Jesus Christ Hook line. I absolutely I feel like it is, I feel like, and it's shitty. It's shitty I think about like all the people that like met me while I was like in that, oh God, I feel so bad for them.

Shellbz: 12:11

Same actually.

Steph: 12:12

Jesus, I was such a fucking tool, like such an asshole, such a fuck, like everything that you hate. I bet you, the same way I hate all of my.

Shellbz: 12:24

Probably. We're definitely on somebody's fuck that person list.

Steph: 12:28

A hundred and ten percent, I know for a fact there is one girl that like is like she 100, she hates me like with a dirty rotten passion. Last pride she threw a water bottle on me. Yeah, she really. Yeah. We went on one date and she like made a like a shadow box of our one date and had like the picture in it and it had like the wristband and it was like glued inside of there.

Shellbz: 12:54

That's really cute, though it creeped me the fuck, understandably so, but it's a. It's a cute gesture, maybe after, like I made one for kelly after your first date.

Steph: 13:04

No see, okay, that's better, that's less creepy that way I mean I feel like, yeah, you should probably wait a couple of days I mean I, this girl was awful from start to finish, like just fucking, just a generally not good person, you know, like oh god you're awful, gave you the ick kind of yeah, yeah but yeah, apparently she still hates me, like even all these years later still fucking fucking hates me.

Shellbz: 13:29

Somebody needs to do their own self healing Sounds like.

Steph: 13:33

Well, she sent me a message. It's like before Pride last year. She sent me a message on Facebook and she was like I know you're the one for me. I sent a message back and I'm like no, I'm not, You're just lonely.

Shellbz: 13:47

I think you have the wrong person.

Steph: 13:49

No, I'm not Just lonely, go find somebody else.

Shellbz: 13:53

So sorry.

Steph: 13:53

Oh yeah, and I think that reignited her hatred.

Shellbz: 13:57

I can imagine.

Steph: 13:58

So, bitch, that's some, I will find you type shit, I'm going to split my tires later, for sure, anyways. Oh, fritz shouldn't say cunt, I'll cut that out. Why See you next tuesday, bitch that's a little better.

Shellbz: 14:15

For sure, for sure, speaking of pride, are you going this year?

Steph: 14:19

yeah, yeah, absolutely okay yeah, I have to be there for um the human rights committee anyways I really want chelsea and I to go, so, yes, really want to go.

Shellbz: 14:30

I was hoping you guys were going and there's even a camera. I was thinking about leaving it on, somebody might. Though we thought about starting an OnlyFans.

Steph: 14:37

Yeah, I've always wanted to.

Shellbz: 14:39

Same.

Steph: 14:39

Yeah, I mean, I think it'd be fucking fantastic, like I'm pretty sure I tried to get me and my ex to start one Somebody will pay for that shit. Men won't pay for that shit. Like just do it. Like do you think I care? Give me thousands of dollars, I don't give a shit.

Shellbz: 14:52

Look at me, all of me. I don't give a fuck.

Steph: 14:54

It's fine, you want to see this fucking my thunder thighs flapping my ass are going fine.

Shellbz: 15:01

Let's do it. I have zero shame, zero shame. Put that bitch on big screen. As I'm getting paid, I go fuck.

Steph: 15:07

No, kelly and I just had like we on Saturday we were going to go to the Studio 13 opening oh yeah, over here and we went out to dinner and then we were going to go down to like Irish Fest and like hang out there and then go to the thing. Anyways, we go out to dinner, we finish dinner. Kelly wanted to run to Target so I'm like, yeah, we're not going Because I want to be naked.

Shellbz: 15:33

I feel trapped and I don't like it. I don't like it. I want to go home and I just want to be naked. And you got naked, I got naked, howdy girl.

Steph: 15:41

Video about trying to find a nudist colony because I was 100% sure. Like I hate clothing, I hate clothing.

Shellbz: 15:47

Yeah.

Steph: 15:47

I fucking hate clothing. I hate having to wear clothing. I hate having to wear bras. I hate having to wear underwear Like this is bullshit.

Shellbz: 15:54

Yeah, Whoever made that rule is. That's bullshit.

Steph: 15:57

It is bullshit. It's a clothing fucking empire thing or whatever.

Shellbz: 16:01

I don't know.

Steph: 16:01

I don't care, it's culty. It is fucking culty Like let's just all be naked. Yeah, kids, just let it fly. Body shaming, there'd be no any?

Shellbz: 16:09

No, never, quite literally never.

Steph: 16:11

Find me a nudist colony. Do you know how far away nudist colonies are?

Shellbz: 16:14

Maybe you should just buy some land.

Steph: 16:16

Not in Iowa, I don't know why, because I looked it up. You get in trouble for that shit here. Yeah, really, you can't even be naked in your own backyard, even if it's not viewable by the street. What Yep I? Viewable by the street from the street? What yep, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna get arrested for sure because I'm naked in my own backyard all the time.

Shellbz: 16:36

My neighbors love me, neighbors love me. I'm usually like I love walk around in my boxers all the time, but I don't know if I know, I don't know if I could walk out naked, but I think that's just because we're like pre-programmed to feel shitty about ourselves well, I've made've made Kelly like really comfortable about it, like so far.

Steph: 16:52

I think when we first started out she wouldn't like I would be naked all the time. The second I get home, all the clothes come off. I don't give a shit, like I hate I had to put clothes on to do this. That's why I was a little disappointed. I'm so sorry I ruined your evening Because I had to like go to a meeting this morning. I had a client meeting this morning and then I came back and the second I walked in the house I was strip-ass naked and then I came down and worked naked for a while.

Steph: 17:19

That's amazing. That's a naked seat. That's a naked seat.

Shellbz: 17:23

Naked.

Steph: 17:24

Yeah, then you text him. You just have to let me know what time so I can put clothes on.

Shellbz: 17:28

I gave you a 10-minute warning, for sure.

Steph: 17:30

I was happy about that, see, yeah. But yeah, I don't think she believed me as much like when we first started dating. I don't know if she believed me about how much I liked me naked. She certainly does now. I can about imagine it's gotten like way more comfortable with it now, like she will. She's more comfortable not to put on like a full suit of clothing every single time she gets up.

Shellbz: 17:57

That's the way I am with with chelsea too, because she's she would rather not have clothes on also, she fucking hates them. I'm not mad about that I mean I'm 110, extremely supportive, um, but she's gotten me like. Actually it didn't take very long at all to be super comfortable, like I hated sleeping naked before, but I love sleeping naked with her. It is so amazing and it's like a different form of intimacy, but like if there's kids not around, I would probably just walk around naked with her all the time. Fuck clothes.

Steph: 18:28

Fuck clothes. Clothes are awful.

Shellbz: 18:29

They are terrible, Especially when I get like overwhelmed or overstimulated. I'm like I don't want to fucking be in these clothes anymore.

Steph: 18:35

I get like I get pissy, I really do. You're off. Yeah. Yeah, Kelly can tell. Now she can tell like when I'm like pissy and when I'm like she's like okay, we gotta go Like, we gotta find an excuse to get the fuck out of here. You need to be naked.

Shellbz: 18:49

Are you okay? Yeah, you need to take a sock off.

Steph: 18:58

Will that make you feel better? You don't have to wear socks. Yeah, so she'll take my socks and put them in her pocket.

Shellbz: 19:05

That's fucking amazing Actually. Oh, my, my god, I love that. I love your guys's love, but uh, we deserve it though we do 110 charge for this fucking not wrong. Went through a lot of shit to get here, but we also did the self-reflection thing and the healing and whatever can always be better, but I feel like we're both way fucking further than what we were a year ago by far.

Steph: 19:32

Yeah, I was thinking about it the other day because, um, it was one of the kids's birthdays and of course I sent, I sent gifts, um. But yeah, I was thinking about it the other day and I'm like I, I can't, I can't even imagine, I don't understand. I think about some of the stuff that that like happened and like how, how, just utterly depressed and like how shitty we felt.

Steph: 19:58

How shitty I felt Like, uh, I had to. We have like a. I have a OneNote, like notebook or whatever and I shared it with Kelly so we could like share passwords and stuff through like our OneNote. But anyways, when I did that, I'm like, oh shit, I got to go and like clear out the, clear out some of the other stuff that's on there. So I went and I started to clear it out. Like all of these like bank statements and like proof that I had one of them was like proof that I had pneumonia, proof of my LLC ownership, proof of this, and it was all for, like, my ex because she wanted like proof of everything all the time.

Shellbz: 20:37

Jesus Christ.

Steph: 20:38

And I like was looking at that stuff. I'm like how fucking low were you, like, how miserable were you that you thought this was like acceptable behavior, like God, you thought this was what love was.

Shellbz: 20:54

And now you can't even imagine feeling shitty.

Steph: 20:57

Oh, I can't, it doesn't like even work out, it just like doesn't come into my brain. We haven't like fought once Our fights are the stupidest things ever, Like who's going to buy beer?

Shellbz: 21:08

See Nothing wrong with that.

Steph: 21:09

Yeah, and it's fucking fantastic, it's happy.

Shellbz: 21:13

Feels good. I'm really happy to be here. I definitely don't want it to leave Ever. It won't it, won't it, fucking better not. Trust the process, chelsea, I will find you, I find you. I literally told her I would put her in my basement and she could stay there forever if she tried to leave me.

Steph: 21:28

Tell Kelly, all the time you want to leave me, go take a nap. You'll get over it. Okay, that is a wrap for this episode of Liz Communicate. We want to remind you to visit our website at lizcommunicatecom. From there, you can join our Discord and you can chat with us in real time. Send us an email at queers. At lizcommunicatecom, you can follow our social media sites. Visit our store. Don't forget to like, follow, share on whatever app you're currently using. It really helps us out. Thank you all so much for listening. Just one more thing we gotta do.

Shellbz: 22:07

I'm Shelby and this is Steph Bitch I love you, I love you too, you did. Yeah, it's gonna be good, is it? Oh shit, okay, we're recording. Nope, because I suck at zines. We're doing great. It's your shit. Put your shit in there, you go Swamp.

Steph: 22:51

I don't know how close I need to be to it. Fix your shit, put your shit in there. You go this one.

Shellbz: 22:59

I don't know how close I need to be to it.

Steph: 23:02

Pretty Pretty. Yeah, apparently your voice carries more than mine does. I had to fix mine and everything. And also, like the clip in the recording is crazy. It's freaking nuts Like a noise. Pretty nice. Through the recording. I'm being late. Through the recording it's getting better. I need to go back to here. I'm trying to figure out how I can take the clip out. It always gets better. It's been really nice. Really happy about it. Ready, ready, I have more friends than the other two. They're our exes. Wait, we have to do the fucking digital first. Yeah, okay, okay, I'm sorry, I can't. No, you can't. Okay, I can't. I. No, okay, okay, get your feet. What's your tattoo? It's like Michelle, hahaha. Okay, this is Shelby. No, can I going to be this? Oh, look at me, go. I hate it.

Shellbz: 24:36

It sounds terrible, terrible. I'm trying something. Is that right? Okay, I think so, yeah, and I'm hard to be wondered. That makes me wonder if it's a good one or a person behind it. I have one of those, so I almost wonder if it's a person behind the catfish. I don't know for sure. I think it was like. I think it was like to test out. I don't know. Her name is Wolfram, what? Yeah, yeah, oh shit. Thank you, bye.